When Progress Doesn’t Look Like Progress

Progress isn't necessarily linear

Many parents worry about their child falling behind their peers and never quite catching up. There can be fears about isolation, future success, and what differences in development might mean long term.

Often, progress is expected to be visible and immediate. There can be a strong pull to look for change right away, rather than trusting the process or a child’s ability to absorb information and show growth in their own time. For many children, this process is slow, uneven, and not always easy to see from the outside.

Progress is also often imagined as something that continues at a steady pace. In reality, development rarely works that way. There are periods of growth, plateaus, and times where things seem to pause before moving forward again.

It’s very common for parents to look to siblings, cousins, or peers and wonder where their child sits in comparison. In these moments, it’s easy to forget that everyone develops differently, with their own strengths, challenges, and timelines.

Many people assume that verbal communication is the primary way we communicate. When speech is the main focus, it can be easy to miss the quieter, more subtle forms of communication that happen alongside it. Eye gaze, facial expressions, gestures such as pointing or waving, and copying sounds or actions all carry meaning.

Even when a child is not yet talking, they may still be absorbing information and processing it in other ways. This can show up through following familiar routines, retrieving an item they’ve worked out someone needs, or pointing to objects they recognise.

Sometimes progress looks different from what is expected. A parent might be watching closely for a child to name the pieces of a farm animal puzzle, while missing the fact that the child has placed all the pieces in the correct spots for the first time. That moment still reflects learning, understanding, and growth.

Visible steps forward are often met with praise, and understandably so. When a child shows a new skill, there is often an expectation that it will happen again immediately and continue happening. Learning doesn’t always work that way!

Sometimes a child produces a skill once and then takes time before showing it again. This doesn’t mean the skill has been forgotten. More often, it reflects that the child is still in the process of learning and consolidating it. With time and patience, the skill often reappears.

Plateaus can serve an important purpose. They give children space to reinforce what they have learned without the added cognitive load of learning something new. Much like taking time to check form before progressing further, these pauses can help strengthen foundations.

What looks like regression can also be a sign of fatigue. Communication demands energy, and sometimes children simply need a break from working on a particular skill. We don’t expect constant physical training without rest, and communication learning is no different.

It can be helpful to remember that every child is individual, and pauses in progress do not mean that nothing is happening. Processing often continues beneath the surface. With time, space, and support, progress tends to emerge again.

This is something worth remembering not only for families, but for therapists as well. It’s easy to get caught up in the idea of constant forward movement, but meaningful progress often includes pauses along the way.

Children often try more, and experiment more freely, when they feel safe to do so. When there is less pressure to perform or “get it right”, they are more willing to have a go, even if they’re unsure.

Showing patience helps children understand that learning can happen in their own time, without the need for perfection. When mistakes are allowed and expected, engagement often increases.

Sometimes, communication grows best when there are fewer questions and instructions. Simply talking can be enough. Talking about the game you’re playing, what you’re building with Lego, favourite ideas, or even laughing together when something doesn’t quite work.

This kind of interaction provides rich communication from the adult, without placing demands on the child. It shows variety, models language naturally, and removes the pressure to respond in a particular way. It also gives children the opportunity to join in on their own terms, when they’re ready.

Progress doesn’t always announce itself. Often, it shows up quietly, in moments that are easy to miss if we’re only watching for certain outcomes.

Pauses, plateaus, and uneven steps forward are not signs that nothing is happening. They are often part of the learning process itself.

Perhaps there is space to look a little wider when thinking about progress. To notice effort, understanding, and connection, even when words aren’t there yet.

Progress doesn’t need to be rushed to be meaningful.